Rory Nicol

The Strategy that Stopped Working

Back in the mid-90s, I was a long-haired, Nirvana-loving teen who felt awkward in his own skin. Friends were there. Life moved forward. But underneath, there was depression and a restlessness that wouldn’t settle.

I had no real language for these feelings. No one to talk to, and no way to say it. So, my strategy became the default for many men and high-achievers: push through, perform, and keep it all inside.

That strategy of just pushing forward worked… until it didn’t.

After high school, the expected path to University didn’t fit, but nothing else was clear either. Then, I met a few people who were travelling instead of settling down, and something clicked. Leaving felt like a huge risk at the time. But looking back, it was the first real decision that felt like mine.

Glimpses of a different way of being started to emerge

Travelling alone forced a confrontation with fears that had been easy to avoid. Working on farms, sleeping in tents, cooking meals over open fires. Discovering yoga and meditation. Studying Buddhism. Slowly, the old patterns that had been weighing everything down since I was a kid started to loosen.

That growth wasn’t a straight line. Returning home brought the old feelings back. With the support of a friend, I talked to a counsellor. Therapy presented a choice that I had avoided for years: keep holding everything in and stay protected from vulnerability or take the risk of being truly seen. The risk won. And everything changed.

Years of sadness, grief, fear, and anger that I’d carried alone finally got processed. My relationships improved. Honesty became my default. Life started to feel genuinely good and I felt far more present for everything that came my way.

That transformation is what led to becoming a therapist

The resilience I built wasn’t learned from a textbook; it came through life. That’s what makes it possible for me to sit with clients who know the feeling of being lost, of carrying weight they can’t name, of wondering if there’s a version of strength that doesn’t require shutting down.

This work is for people who hold positions of responsibility. Parents. Founders. Leaders

I support people who need to find a way to stop disconnecting from their emotions just to get the job done. People who sense that real leadership requires something deeper than performance. It requires presence. It requires honesty. It requires the willingness to look at yourself clearly.

Your strength and vulnerability aren’t opposites. They’re partners

 My clinical training in Gestalt Therapy and Somatic Practice provided the tools to guide the work I do as a therapist and supervisor. I help new therapists go beyond theory and teach the art of connection every day. It’s important to find within yourself what makes it possible to be fully present with clients who feel trapped by expectation and responsibility. Often, it’s connecting with your own experience, of having been there yourself.

Quick fixes and surface level solutions aren’t what I focus on with clients

I’m here to work with people who are ready to go deep, to do what’s required to sustain meaningful relationships, a fulfilling career and life. If you’re ready to do this work, let’s talk.